Self-Devaluation Conflict

A self-devaluation conflict is a cerebral-medulla special biological program (SBS), rendered in the new mesoderm germ layer. What defines a self-devaluation conflict is neither the world nor others but one's own sense of adequacy and ability, measured against what one wants to be.

(Consciousness is nonlocal and non-directional. Thus, any devaluation is self-devaluation. If one gets the idea that something or someone else "should" be different, that is also experienced as a self-devaluation)

Self-devaluation conflicts vary in their specificity and intensity. A generalized or central self-devaluation (e.g. "I am not who I once was") tends to affect the spine or ribcage. A local self-devaluation involves the tissues that carry out the activity one is devaluing. For example:

• "I can't run as fast as I used to" — legs, especially knees
• "I deserve shame/judgment" — neck
• a self-devaluation of no longer being whole because of a profound or permanent loss — gonad
• "I have an ugly belly" — fat tissue on belly

The intensity of the self-devaluation conflict determines the depth of tissue involved:

• A mild self-devaluation involves connective tissue, fat tissue, cartilage, tendon, lymph tissue
• A moderate self-devaluation involves striated muscle and venous tissue (lymph nodes, veins, and arteries)
• A severe self-devaluation involves bone, bone marrow, and blood tissue

During the conflict-active phase, the affected new mesoderm undergoes cell loss, or necrosis: bone loses density, muscle atrophies, cartilage thins, blood cell counts drop. Throughout the SBS, the function of these organs improves after a functional impairment. (The majority of the benefit of the SBS is realized at the end of the healing phase) During the active conflict, through the relevant tissue, the individual renders itself literally "less" in the area of perceived inadequacy. After the individual resolves the conflict in his or her psyche, the same tissue is rebuilt through cell proliferation — and rebuilt larger and stronger than before.

The new-mesoderm tissues that answer to self-devaluation are called "the luxury group" because their biological benefit arrives only at the very end — the completion of PCL B — when the tissue stands larger, stronger, and (where it is glandular) more productive than before. Where two or more self-devaluation programs of the same type run together as a constellation (self-devaluation in relation to both mother-child and partner), on both sides of the brain and body — the benefit of none is realized until the healing phase (PCL B) of every program in the constellation is complete.

Laterality (and crossover) apply in self-devaluation conflicts. Organs and tissues on the dominant side of the body are involved in self-devaluation in relation to partner, and those on the non-dominant side come into play with self-devaluation in relation to mother or child.

The gain of fully resolving self-devaluation is real, but it is earned, never granted. The bone that lost density comes back denser and thicker; the muscle that wasted comes back bigger; a self-devaluation conflict, fully resolved, leaves the organism more capable in exactly the area where it felt insufficient. But the tissue does not enlarge because one decides to think better of oneself — the psyche is not fooled by an affirmation it has not earned. (In fact, lying to oneself about one's ability is exactly the kind of storytelling that initiates self-devaluation in the unconscious)

In the healing phase, the cerebral medulla tissue rebuilds only to capacity that genuinely now exists: you change the verdict by changing the reality under it, usually through the slow, trial-and-error work of actually becoming more able (often by prioritizing what matters most and setting the rest aside for now). The structural rebuild then follows the fact, on its own clock, built precisely to the ability now realized — never to a hoped-for one. (This is the fifth biological law in miniature: we evolve by contacting reality and changing the meaning we make of it, not by editing the meaning while reality stays put)

Two Particular Challenges

The Vicious Circle – While the conflict-active phase mainly involves only the unpleasant sense of self-devaluation (plus heightened sympathecotonia), the healing phase of self-devaluation programs produces pain, swelling, stiffness, and a literal reduced ability (or inability) to use the affected part of the body. New-mesoderm tissue has no sensory capacity of its own, so the pain of its healing phase is supplied on loan from the ectoderm: as the tissue swells and the periosteum stretches, the periosteum's cortex-wired upper surface signals pain through the post-sensory cortex. This is the cerebral cortex "helping" a cerebral-medulla program — forcing the organism to rest and protect the healing tissue (the same periosteum, from its other wiring, carries the "rheuma" of a brutal separation conflict; see Separation Conflict). However, not understanding this, pain and weakness or stiffness can easily trigger a new self-devaluation conflict about the very body part involved. This "vicious circle" is the pattern that keeps many special biological programs in hanging healing and constant conflict relapse.

Megalomania – If there are self-devaluation conflicts in relation to both mother-child and partner of the same type – affecting tissue on both sides of the body (e.g. both shoulders, both hips, both gonads, teeth on both sides of the mouth) – it produces a cerebral medulla constellation, which results in "megalomania:" a delusional overestimation of one's ability in relation to the conflict content. (Or, in practical experience, a delusional underestimation of the time, space, matter, or energy it will require to undertake what one desires to undertake) The megalomania constellation persists until all its constituent self-devaluation conflicts are resolved and the healing phase of every constituent SBS is complete.